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Monday, August 17, 2009

Sarah's Tag... XD

Dear Sarah,
I don't really know how to tell you this, (our socks don't match). I think I realized it (when your dog humped my leg) (outside your office) and I saw you (carve your initials into) (the elephant in the corner). I'm sure you're (shamed) enough to understand (that the middle-east is planning their revenge on you). I'm returning your (toe ring) to you, but I'll keep (your photo with the mustache drawn on) as a memory. You should also know that I (will not tell the authorities that you stole the whale from the backyard) and (I'm off to lead a new life as a lemon).
(Go drown yourself),

Daniel

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Here's how you do it:
Dear (someone you recently talked to),
I don't really know how to tell you this,(1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning your (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).
(12),

(Your name)


1) What's the color of your shirt?

Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over

White - I’m joining the Convent

Black -Our romance is over Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun

Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy

Pink - Your nostrils are insulting

Brown - The mafia wants you

No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you

Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?

January - That night you picked your nose

February -When I quoted Forrest Gump

March - When your dwarf bit me

April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer

June - When you put cuffs on me

July – When I saw the purple monkey

August - When you smacked my ass
September - Last year when you peed your pants

October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear


3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub

Chicken- In your car
asta - Outside of your office

Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Fish - In a clown suit Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light

Other - With George Bush and Stephen Harper


4) What's the color of your socks?

Yellow - Ignore

Red - Put whipped cream on

Black - Hit on

Blue - Knock out

Purple - Pour syrup on

White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - Castrate

Pink - Pull the pants off of

Barefoot - Sit on

Other - Drive over


5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father

Grey – The Catholic Priest

Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket

Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana

Orange - My Blink 182 cd

Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Other --The elephant in the corner


6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile

Heroes- Frostbitten

Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly

The news - Scarred

American Idol - Masochistic

Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class

Other -shamed


7) Your mood right now?

Happy - How awful you are

Sad - How boring you are

Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men

Angry - That your smell makes me vomit

Depressed – That we’re related

Excited - That I may pee my pants

Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you

Worried - That your Ford sucks

Apathetic - That you need a sex-change

Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid

Other - That your driving sucks


8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?

White - Your toe ring

Yellow - Your love letters to me

Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car

Orange - Your false teeth

Brown - Your nose hair clippers

Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear

Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket

Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear


9) The first letter of your first name?

A/B - My virginity

C/D - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it

E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car

I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample

M/N - Your glass eye

O/P - My common sense

Q/R - Your mom

S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record

W/X – Your sucide note

Y/Z - Your credit cards


10) The last letter in your last name?

A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks

E/F -Never will forget that night

G/H – Will not tell the authorities that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking

M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching

O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs

S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet

U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart

W/X - Haven’t showered in a month

Y/Z – am better off without you


11) What do you prefer to drink?

Wine- Our friendship is ruined

Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon

Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire

Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this

Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice

Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war

Mineral/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked

Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird

Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey

Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose


12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?

Thailand – Warm tingly sensations

Australia - Best of luck on the sex change
France - Love always

Spain - With tears of sadness

China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy

USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt – Kiss my butt

England - Go drown yourself

Tagging:
Joyce! XD
Xuelin! (Have a good laugh!)
CJ!
Tim C
Yi Jing?
And any other people who wanna do this hilarious tag!

3 comments:

GC Yi En said...

lolz...

meow said...

hahahahahahaha...

Joyce TJL said...

= =
I seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~

JTJL