Most of Us are Deluded... At Least I Am.

Self-delusion is a flaw. Yet even I who have tried to prevent myself to being self-deluded have fallen into the trap of being so. I often ask myself when i'm doing my work: Will what I do be ever good enough? What is all these that I am doing leading to? Are my efforts always futile? In the end, I would feel that what I have done are in vain, I should stop wasting time on this and devote myself to some sort of entertainment.

In other words , a distraction. A distraction to distract myself from the fact that i'm feeling unworthy and empty. However, these distractions, are temporary never permanent, and truth is eternal. Social entertainment, computer games, random channels on TV are often my distractions that I fall prey into. 

Exams. Are. Right. Around. The. Corner.

Blowing the Happy Dust Mites Away...

I was wondering around the blogosphere today, and I remember that I too have a blog! OH, it has been a long time since I've blogged (look at my last post, it's dated August 24th, 2012!). I'm sure the dust mites (comment-spammers) have been feasting away happily filling my old blog posts with nothing but spam (I've removed them already), but it's high time I put an end to that. It's time to put back my blogging cap on and get my rusty writing skills to work!

Looking back on some of my old blog posts, I wonder why did I ever start this site in the first place. Why did I start blogging? I remember years ago when I started this thing (it has been 7 years, since 2007), all I blogged about was about me, ranting and raving how unfair life was, posting music lyrics, etc... typical teenage drama, though looking back it serves as a sort of a personal journal. After maturing up a little, blogging became a place for me to raise my opinions and thoughts to the public. I mean who doesn't want a chance to express their feelings to people? I think blogging was just the right technology that came along and gave people the chance to do just that. Of course, I was also caught up by the thought of generating income (via Adsense, and all the other advertising gadgets around my blog), though I gave it up a long time ago. It takes AGES to get enough to cash out your money from ads, unless of course, you're a celebrity blogger.

Ok, enough of me reminiscing of how-I-started-my-blog. So, what's my motivation to blog now?

2 words. Still searching.

A New Chapter, Monash Orientation: July 2012.

Ever wondered why books have so many chapters instead of just one? It's because that's a mark of a new distinct period in the character's life, where the author adds new variables, to liven up the plot, making the book more interesting.

Similar to my situation here, here I am, Day 1 of Orientation in Monash. Monash has a different style of running things (according to them, don't know whether it's true), that is for example, by letting the students themselves to take charge and organise the whole orientation event. Based on by observation, those students organising the whole thing are highly organised. The whole event was something like the "Welcoming the New Form Sixers" by Sixth Form Society that I once joined in Keat Hwa when I was in Form 6, except this was at a much larger scale.

As an introvert, adapting to this new environment was quite hard for me, especially in a place not knowing any familiar faces or friends. And it isn't me to make the first move to talk to people, I guess I have to start doing so, or my uni life shall be a lonely one. Fortunately, I met someone, quite by accident from Kedah!!!..., which is like so rare (most of them are from kl), pity he isn't taking the same course as me, although we will be in the same faculty.

Shall blog more about my life here in Campus in due time, currently am without an iPad camera connection kit (therefore no pictures), and without Internet in my residence or campus.

Job Hunting Experiences. :D

I'm back!... after a long absence from this blogosphere.

I know my blog has been "dead" for quite awhile, but there is a good reason to that. I've taken up a job! Well, 2 jobs actually, as a tutor and also a Switcher, a.k.a. a glorified Apple product salesman. :P

It all began when a friend introduced this tutoring job at Talent Tuition Centre to me. After lazing about at home for a good few weeks after STPM, and completing my IELTS exam in Penang, a job sounded just like too much work for me. I can tell you, at the very beginning, I wasn't very thrilled of taking up the job, it meant having to commit my time and often get out of my comfort zone. Who likes working? But I took the job anyway.

My first job experience wasn't a good one. The person my friend and I worked for kept on delaying in giving us a permanent tutoring class week after week. After a month, I got fed up, and I quit! I decided to hunt for another job. Although I tutored there for 4 weeks, I never did see the "salary" he promised to pay me.

The next job I took up was also another tutoring job, this time at Soyuz Tuition Centre. The lady that runs it, is from FGC (Full Gospel Church), and I must say, I am impressed by the way her tuition centre is run. It's very much different from most tuition centres I've ever been to. She offers almost every subject from Standard 1, right up to Form 5, and not to mention MUET and Singapore syllabus too, and the students are taught by after-Form 6er's, a going-to-be-pharmacist, going-to-be-accountant, and many more. And oh, she pays her tutors well too, RM15 an hour. :D

While I was tutoring, I found out from my dad that Switch was opening in Alor Setar Mall, and they were looking for part-time crews! By the way, if you are wondering what Switch is, here is a little info, Switch is a an authorised Apple dealer and service provider. Finding an Apple product? If you are in Northern East Malaysia, head down to your nearest Switch outlet! :P

Well, back to topic, I love Apple products, but I wasn't sure I was cut up to be a salesman. People who know me well will know that I have a problem talking to strangers. But I decided to give it a try, although I had my reservations.

Working at Switch was much different compared to my tutoring job experiences, although it doesn't pay as well. There was a job interview I had to attend. After that, I had to attend and pass a training programme, to make sure I'm qualified for the job, which I think is unique for a sales job. This means the company take pride in its employees in being well trained of the product they are selling. And oh, did I mention that at the end of the month (usually), there is a gathering to discuss the month's performance, usually on what needing to be improved, faults and mistakes to be corrected, or the latest announcements by headquarters or Apple? I'm sure this culture isn't practiced by many companies, which I feel is good as it breaks down barriers between colleagues and brings the fun into working. :)

Well, working at Switch has been fun, other than hitting the hours and sales target every month, I think I've gained quite a lot by working here. I shall be quitting Switch in a week. That's all from me now, shall be updating more often from now. :)

Things Do Not Change, People Change.

 I'm sure you know this phrase is quoted from Henry David Thoreau, an author and others. That got me thinking, basic needs of a man a century ago and today still remain more or less the same. Man still requires food, water, shelter and human interaction between one another for sustenance. The only difference between today's world and the past is the technological advances which has improved our lives. And if you look at the bigger picture, you'll realize that things have not changed much, but people do.

Over the years, I've come to a realization that man is constantly improving himself for the better. Unforeseen events that occur around me affect me in my decision making, but ultimately, it's my decision that makes the difference. For example, when I was younger, I skipped classes which I felt were boring. I would sometimes sleep or skip off to the library where the time came for the subjects I disliked. The school disciplinary board came down hard on me and gave a an ultimatum, change my ways or be expelled from school. Although one mighty say that with friends, teacher and parents around encouraging and scolding me for the change, I believe that the most important push and motivate would be myself. When one is at the crossroad, who makes the decision in taking which path? You, and no one else. Once the decision is made, there is no turning back, as Robert Frost would have put it,

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
......"

And I did. And that made all the difference to me. :)

2012

The year is almost up.

A new chapter begins. :) 

Time to hit the books.

Immune Response of Humans.

There are two types of immune response, or rather, what my Bio book tells me so. I was kinda tired of stuffing the facts into my head, so I thought I would type it out here on my iPod Blogger app. :)

Cell-Mediated Immunity:

Cell-Mediated Immune Response

1. T cells formed in the blood marrow circulate in the blood circulatory system until it reaches the thymus glands.
2. In thymus glands, T cells differentiate to form T helper cells and T cytotoxic cells, each with a unique type of T cell receptor on its surface.
3. Mature T helper cell circulates in the blood circulatory system until it reaches an antigen representing cell (APC).
4. If antigen-MHC complex on APC is complementary with the T cell receptor on the T helper cell, the T cell binds to the APC.
5. T helper cell that binds with APC secretes interleukin 1.
6. Interleukin 1 stimulates production of interleukin 2.
7. Interleukin 2 stimulates the division of T helper cells and T cytotoxic cells to produce clones of effector T helper & effector T cytotoxic cells respectively and memory cells.
8. Circulating T cytotoxic cells bind with complementary antigen-MHC complex on infected cells.
9. Effector T cytotoxic cells release perforin that perforated the infected cells to stimulate autolysis.
10. Effector cytotoxic T cells attacks other infected cells, as infected cell perform autolysis.
11. Memory T cells respond for a second invasion of the same pathogen by actively dividing to form effector T cells.

Humoral Immune Response:

1. B cells are formed and mature in bone marrow.
2. Mature B cells synthesize antibodies, which attach to the 2 tips acting as receptors.
3. B cells with complimentary antibody phagocytosise the free complimentary antigens encountered.
4. Antigen is cut into smaller pieces and presented as the antigen-MHC complex on it's plasma membrane.
5. T helper cell with complimentary T cell receptor binds to antigen-MHC complex.
6. T helper cell secretes interleukin 2.
7. Interleukin 2 stimulates B cell to divide and, form clones of effector B cells and memory cells.
8. Effector B cells produce large quantity of free antibodies with same specific configuration.
9. Antibodies destroys antigen by precipitation, antitoxins and agglutination.

Interesting how our immune system works, right?
The only problem is, it's only interesting when you need not memorize it for finals!

Indifferent.

Look at this photo.

All the trays are same in color and in shape. It's a bit like humans if you come to think about it. You and I are the same (in general), we have 2 hands, 2 feet, 2 eyes, 2 ears, etc. But what make us so different?

Thought of the day. :)

Trials will begin as soon as the Raya break is over. This "holiday" didn't seem like one at all.

Anyway, good luck to all those who will be taking their "appetizers" this Tuesday. :D

OMK 2011!

Set two different alarms to make sure I woke up for this competition. I had to drag myself out from bed at 6 just to get to school and be on time to board the bus to UNIMAP, Perlis. It seems that Kedah and Perlis hopefuls were scheduled to sit the OMK papers together.

I'm sure you would be in the dark what is OMK all about, if you have never heard of OMK before. Well, OMK stands for Olimpiad Matematik Kebangsaan, a mathematics competition, which is held annually, to select Malaysia's Maths champion to represent Malaysia in the World Mathematics Olympiad. My form, had 5 representatives, all guys, 3 from my class. :D

Students all around Perlis and Kedah met at the centre an hour before the test started, as required. Kolej Sultan Abdul Hamid also sent representatives with at least 8 from Form 6. I happened to know a few of them who came. :D

Sitting for OMK is something new for me. I've not sat for this competition before. It was rather a urmmm... not much of a new experience. Sharing a little about the test... The competition lasts for 2.5 hours. There are 9 questions in this competition. 6 questions requires just the answer, while the remaining 3 requires you to show the working for the solution. The 6 front questions, if answered correctly, will be awarded 2 marks each, while the behind 3 questions if answered correctly with the correct steps will be awarded 6 marks each. And I must say, the questions are not easy!

Can you imagine that the OMK questions had mistakes? Not minor errors, but a MAJOR error! Halfway through the competition, they asked us to change one of the question's positive sign to a negative sign. Such errors shouldn't be made in the first place! Isn't this a Kebangsaan competition?!? What happened to the checking and double-checking of the questions?

Overall, I know I stand no chance in this competition, they others are just too good. I didn't know how to do quite a number of questions. This just shows how weak I am in Mathematics. :( One of my junior, could answer all (except for one question, which he wasn't quite sure of). I guess he will be the champion for this district. :D Keat Hwa boleh!

Anyway, it was fun! I quite enjoyed myself. :D

Holidays are Over!

It's JUNE already. Time flies!

In about less than 72 hours from now, I'll be dragging myself out from bed, staggering to the bathroom, taking a quick shower, crawling into the same school uniform I've been wearing since I was 13.

School is reopening!
"So what?"

*ponders more*
"Crap! Mid-term exam results are coming out!"
"Sunday got Chem, Bio and Maths!"

Oh well, I know for a fact, that only recently, I've been trying to actually WORK HARD, for once. I've never actually wanted something so badly before. I need to work harder to achieve 4.0! I've got to take this exam's result as a lesson to strive harder. :D

A whole load of events are awaiting me in school. Sport's Sukan Tara, Sport's Day, Keat Hwa's 100 year anniversary, Form Six Society Interviews, Form Six Night, etc. It's going to be a real busy time in school. I hope I will be able to manage my time properly. Distractions, SHOO! :D

STPM is coming! I wonder how the teachers are going to finish another volume of Biology and almost the entire Paper 2 for Maths. I mean, there are at least another 14 chapters for Biology alone! And the next question is, how am I going to stuff everything into my head! GAH!

Oh well. Life has it's tough and easy times. I'm having a good life. :)

What is there to complain about? :)

Appreciate what you have today. Everything you have today, might just be taken away from you. Who knows? :)

A lil' About Life...

It's like saying goodbye to the future~

What happens when you do badly in your exam?

You get criticized.

You feel disheartened.
You feel like you are worthless.
The longing of suicide just feels so intense.
The world you know is crumbling all around you.
And worse off, the world treats you like you're a nobody.

I was lucky enough that I had a good set of parents. I am thankful for them, or I wouldn't be where I am now. I've realized, reflecting on my life for the things I've been through for the past 5 years, how much I've been through. It has been one real frightening roller-coaster ride. And although I've side-tracked many times, they have always pulled me back. Ahhh... if it wasn't for them, I would be probably have gone out into the working world, struggling to make ends meet.

Which brings me back to reality... My mid-term exams are currently on-going now. And I know, I will get really BAD results. I know I've been making many excuses to myself, and it's time for me to make a stand. I am not working hard enough as I should be. Trials are in 2 to 3 months time, and here I am, still spending wayyyy to much time on distractions. Do I really want to flunk my trials and my major exam? I don't think so.

My history is repeating itself.

Progress, far from consisting in change, depends on retentiveness. When change is absolute there remains no being to improve and no direction is set for possible improvement; and when experience is not retained, as among savages, infancy is perpetual. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. - George Santayana

I've realized how true this quote is. Lately, I've been taking life too good. I've neglected what I've planned. I've forgotten who I am, and who I wanted to be. I told myself I would not repeat what happened to my SPM to my STPM. But things changed as time got along, talk is cheap.

I've finally woken up from my slumber... I hope.

God, I need You, and I seek You. Help me this day oh Lord, and the days to come.

How Time Flies.

It's April already! And very soon, I shall be sitting for my mid-term exams.

It just seemed like yesterday I entered Form 6. Guess, time flies.

There has been a lot of things going on lately. Exams, quizzes, assignments, PEKA, the lot... to add on to my already busy schedule, I was struck down by sore throat and flu yesterday, and was incapacitated for a few hours. Ha. School life has been a stress. I kinda regret not working hard when I was in secondary school, but I guess it's too late. What has been done, can't be re-done. For now, all I can do is to make sure I do not regret the decision I made... STPM! But seriously, why can't it be much easier to understand? Agh!

And oh, heard the news? STPM is going to be much easier! Instead of just sitting one major exam, they are going to change it to the semester-style system! Translation, it's going to be like Matriculation. In class, we were complaining that it wasn't fair! Why couldn't we born a year later? Hah. But if you look at it from a different point of view, STPM standards are going down! STPM wasn't as hard as it was 15 years ago, and it's not getting any harder now, but much easier. Is Malaysia trying to bring down the only exam left that is of standard? Hmmm...
On another unrelated matter... Been reading the news lately? Sarawak Elections is in 2 days time! Malaysiakini and Sarawak Today was hacked by viruses, sourcing from India and the States. Wanna read about the attack? Click here. Another tactic of the government to bring down the Opposition? I hope not. Why can't the government just play fair? If you have been governing badly, it's time for a change! Be humble and step down! Nobody is going to laugh or mock you. Take this as a lesson and change for the better. :)

Oh well, I guess I better head back to my Chemistry. :)

In The Name of Science... [Part 2]

Well, based on my previous post, I received more opinions that animal testing should be done in the name of science.

Here's another point of view of mine.

Animal testing often been debated whether it is the right or wrong thing to do. Scientist will insist that it's necessary! Giving the reason that this steps are taken to ensure the future of mankind against various diseases and cure or respite from the ravages of diseases. But animal-lovers, will give you point-blank "NO!", stating that these testings are just pure acts of evil.

To me, well, I believe that animals should have equal rights to a human. Who are we as humans to tie an animal up and subject it to pins and needles, different strains of bacteria or viruses just for the sake of science? You might argue that if these steps are not taken, you and me wouldn't be here, and the average lifespan of a human would be greatly affected.

But, there's always an alternative. There is almost always two ways in science. Why not use remedies instead of chemically-engineered ones? Plant-based remedies for an instant, are often harmless, and without side-effects, even if it's tested on humans or animals. It has been PROVEN that it produces similar or BETTER results compared to the chemically-engineered remedies! Let's take the example of a commonly found illness, fever. Why use panadol, when we can use natural remedies like chewing on tusci leaves and peppercorn, and taking loads of fluids to cure the disease? Just because we want to have the convenience of just swallowing a pill, more animals have to suffer the fate of being tortured and killed? It's just pure inhumanity! Panadol kills us slowly anyway, it contains mercury that accumulates in our body which can cause death in the long run. So, why use chemically-engineered products? Switch to natural remedies!

If we say human lives should be given higher priority compared to animals because of our family and relatives, how about THEM? Don't they have families TOO? Monkeys, the most used animal in animal testing due to their vast similarities to humans, live in herd. How can we know for sure that the herd it was in, mourns for the lost of their brother or sister? Place yourself in their shoes and imagine the agony you would feel when such a thing happens to you.

So, which is the right thing to do? I'm still unsure.

Chinese New Year's Eve Reunion Dinner! :)

Chinese New Year's eve! :)

The dawn of a new beginning... the Year of the Rabbit.
What I like about this year's CNY, is that my relatives came back from Singapore! :D It's a long time since they last did so. The last I can remember was when I was still in my primary school days (I think).
Only my aunt who is in Sabah didn't make it to this year's reunion. She had came back earlier during the Nov-Dec holidays. BUT, I certainly did enjoy their company. :)
Among all my cousins from both my father's and mother's side, I'm sadly the oldest. I mean, I don't mind being the oldest, but there is a BIG age gap between me and them, at least of 9 years!
Anyway, we had our reunion dinner @ Michelin Star, Sitiawan. Mind you, the service is POOR. But, you can't actually put the blame on them. They are inexperienced, this is their first time handling such a big crowd. This restaurant is not even a year old yet.
A fraction of food served. :)Cod fish! Among the 8 dishes, this was my fav! :)This dish, was, unusual. It's pumpkin paste dessert with coconut jelly. Coconut jelly in pumpkin paste?!? Surprisingly, it tasted okay.We had 2 dessert dishes! It's my first time having a pre-packaged dinner with two desserts. The sesame buns were AWESOME!

Although the service was bad, I think it's still worth going. The food served is good, the price is reasonable. Hopefully, they'll take this time's mistake as a lesson and improve on it the next time. :)

At midnight, the sky was lit up with floating lanterns and fireworks. Ah, this is 100 times better than the ones during New Year celebrations in KL.

Hope we have such a reunion again next year! :)

I'll publish a video of it soon, when youtube processes my video. It has been uploaded all morning, and it still hasn't processed finish the video YET. :@

So, how was YOUR new year?

CNY! :)

CNY is here! :D

Ang pows! Come to papa! :D

Updates soon. :)A picture of fireworks being blasted into the sky in Sitiawan. Taken by me. :)

I Want.

Time is the key to all the "I wants" in the world. We often live a life of regret and resentment of the mistakes made and mistakes of our past. Often, one would look at this incidents as times of shame instead of lessons learnt. Imagine time is in your hands, how fun it would be? Mistakes of the past, corrected and perfected. Or looking into the future, taking technology at it's peak, and making the world a better place?

I believe, man given the power of controlling time has always been and is the top-most "I want" thing in their life. Every man and woman would reflect on their past with resentment and regret, wishing that they did or did not do certain things in their life. The question and hopeful thought of "What if I did..." will always be asked. But sadly, man is NOT God. Time isn't ours to call, man lives with time. Our lives are dictated by it.

But it cannot be denied, it is fun to think about man being able to turn back time. Imagine turning back time to the age of 7, when life was so care-free! The purpose of life then was just to learn, eat and grow. Life's sad truth of life being not as easy and sweet as it seems would be often withheld from you by your parents. And wouldn't life be great, if you could turn back time to the age of 7 with the mindset and knowledge you have gained from the past 18 years of your life? Imagine re-living life, knowing what is going to happen next, and being the child your parents always wanted you to be, or making sure you work hard on your Chinese, and so on. Your life would be forever changed! And that's not the end of it, other people's perception of you are changed too!

A new car, a new house might be what everyone dream of when growing up, but it's just superficial. Time on the other hand, is what every man desires for. But in the end, all the "I wants" in the world can't shape or break you, and time is going to wait for no man. There is a saying that goes, "No one starts a war without knowing clearly what their purpose is." Likewise, that's how everyone should live their life. No one should start their day without knowing how they should live their day. Live life like it's your last. Make every single day count, making it meaningful and productive. This should be in everybody "I wants" list priority!

Chinese New Year.

Chinese New Year is just round the corner, right? I assume that all of you just can't wait for the day itself to come, so that your pockets will be lined with the "ang pow" you receive, and use the money to buy the things you have been waiting for ages... right?

But, Chinese New Year isn't just any joyous occasion. It can sometimes be described as running an obstacle course. Curious on what I'm trying to get across? Read on.

Every Chinese New Year, it's no fact that everyone wants a piece of you, and this is worse for married couples. Everywhere you go, be it at your favourite restaurant, or the market, you can't do a simple pirouette without someone asking you to buy some Chinese New Year cookies, or some Chinese New Year stuff.

Every Chinese New Year, us, unmarried people, get our pockets lined (for those who celebrate), and those married, sorry, more holes in your pockets. It's an expensive affair, YEARLY.

But, I suppose to some, it's time for the BIG reunion. Sadly, it doesn't happen in most families. An uncle of yours might be tied up at work in Singapore. Or maybe another stuck in the States and has no means of coming back.

According to the old Chinese traditions, it's supposed to be celebrated with big family gatherings, eating symbolic foods and display of decorations, and not to leave out fireworks... basically, to bring good luck to the year to come, and have fun with loved ones.

Isn't it sad that many are just not following that tradition anymore? I mean, to me, this is real. We only meet once in a blue moon, for certain relatives of mine. I've even met a cousin I've never met before in my 18 years of life while I was in Youthquake!

So, why is the world celebrating Chinese New Year these days? For an income? For money? Or for the joy of family reunions?

My New Life in Upper Six.

My first week of Upper Form Six life has officially passed! :D

It has been an rather unproductive week at school though. Teachers are not in school, either attending meetings, or marking SPM papers. One was in charge with SPBT. In the end, only Maths and PA carried on as usual.

I still have MUET classes though, although MUET exam was last year. I really don't know how the teacher is going to teach when all 4 classes have MUET classes together in the SAME room (bilik media). It's hot, stuffy, and REALLY uncomfortable! I think it'll be more like a time where all 4 classes get together and chat. *SERIOUSLY*.

Biology is also the same. Two classes shall join together as one. But I think it's not as bad as MUET, as it has not much practical. Wish me luck after this! :D

And, with a new timetable, I come back from school at 2+ p.m. everyday instead of the usual 1.10 p.m.!!! I don't understand why the school authorities need us to stay back in school EVERYDAY! Some more at all different times... Sunday, 2.20 p.m.; Monday, 2.10 p.m.; Tuesday 1.45 p.m.; Wednesday & Thursday 2.05 p.m.

We have many free periods though. I don't understand why the school can't cut the free periods and let us back earlier. THINK SCHOOL AUTHORITIES! :@ And if the Kementerian asked us to have 180 minutes for sports, why not use the free periods to fill up the 180 minutes of sports. My class has 7 free periods, if I'm not mistaken. And that's 280 minutes! We can play basketball and football! Isn't it a better idea?

P.S. God will ROCK YOUR WORLD! :D

Carolling 2010.

It's the time of the year, where the spirit of joy, thanksgiving and hyper activeness is in our hearts! All to celebrate the remembrance of the birth of Jesus Christ. :D
It's also time to sing our hearts out! Eat till we're bloated! And have fellowship with one another!It's a pity that these festive moods only come about during Christmas time. We should always be glad because of the birth of Jesus Christ that has changed our lives.But all the same, I did have fun this year (which I had doubts of), although the year to come would be a rather stressful year. Hopefully, next year this time, I can say to myself, "I've tried the best I could for STPM and am confident to can a result good enough to further my studies."

Wish me luck! :)
Classic. This picture is nice right? :D