STPM Countdown to Pengajian Am 2

A lil' About Life...

It's like saying goodbye to the future~

What happens when you do badly in your exam?

You get criticized.

You feel disheartened.
You feel like you are worthless.
The longing of suicide just feels so intense.
The world you know is crumbling all around you.
And worse off, the world treats you like you're a nobody.

I was lucky enough that I had a good set of parents. I am thankful for them, or I wouldn't be where I am now. I've realized, reflecting on my life for the things I've been through for the past 5 years, how much I've been through. It has been one real frightening roller-coaster ride. And although I've side-tracked many times, they have always pulled me back. Ahhh... if it wasn't for them, I would be probably have gone out into the working world, struggling to make ends meet.

Which brings me back to reality... My mid-term exams are currently on-going now. And I know, I will get really BAD results. I know I've been making many excuses to myself, and it's time for me to make a stand. I am not working hard enough as I should be. Trials are in 2 to 3 months time, and here I am, still spending wayyyy to much time on distractions. Do I really want to flunk my trials and my major exam? I don't think so.

My history is repeating itself.

Progress, far from consisting in change, depends on retentiveness. When change is absolute there remains no being to improve and no direction is set for possible improvement; and when experience is not retained, as among savages, infancy is perpetual. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. - George Santayana

I've realized how true this quote is. Lately, I've been taking life too good. I've neglected what I've planned. I've forgotten who I am, and who I wanted to be. I told myself I would not repeat what happened to my SPM to my STPM. But things changed as time got along, talk is cheap.

I've finally woken up from my slumber... I hope.

God, I need You, and I seek You. Help me this day oh Lord, and the days to come.

What Maths can tell about Life.

Maths can tell us many things. It all depends on YOU. How you look at it, how to apply it, where to apply it, and so on...

Three of the saddest love stories based on Math.

Of parallel lines, who were never meant to meet.

Of tangent lines, who were together once then parted forever.

And asymptotes, who could only get closer and closer but never get together.

Pressured.

I know my posts lately have been rather depressing. But that's what I'm feeling these days.

School has not been making my life easier.

Anyway, I just watched Shrek 3 with my sister yesterday. It was... okay? A kiddie movie I guess. But the creators of this movie is creative, you have to give them marks for that.

Tired.

Tired.

I'll blog more about my life at school when I'm much more energetic.

Life in school is taking the life out of me.

Ah.

Stressed.

This is how I feel.
If life did not have decisions, hormones and feelings, life would be much easier.

2010...

2010...

I can't believe that it's almost May already! I think time has never passed this fast for me... In a few more days, Form 6 shall start (and I don't know what to feel... Excited? Or scared?). And before you know it, Christmas has arrived, and carolling shall begin! And say goodbye to 2010, and hello to 2011. How time flies.

Ah... Sometimes, looking back and reflecting back on the events that happened throughout the year can be rather fun, don't you think? =] When you think about it, the events that happened just seems like yesterday, and there is a deep longing to get back to that time frame.

In January, I joined a program called SUSOM. There, I met 5 great friends. And, also many great mentors that has touched and built my life. Looking back, I miss those days. Ah, how I wish it was January 2010 again. =)

In February, I had the chance to visit Astro, head down to Penang and KL for short vacations. =)

In March, I joined Kedah SU Camp as a helper, and thus, after that, my National Service life began... until now.

I must say, God has blessed me with activities to keep me occupied. And I must say, I've never found my life after Form 5 boring, although many of friends are complaining that the period of 3 ~ 4 months after SPM was a rather boring time for them.

Thank you God!... and my parents too! =D

I'm Back from NS!

I'm BACK! And thanks to Joseph and Tim, I was able to get home! xD Thanks for picking me up! =]

I shall be back for about 6 days, till 1st of May. After that, back to the daily grind of that hectic schedule of NS. Anyway, I'll blog more about NS later! =)

My to do list!

1. Sleep!
2. Watch a movie in AS Mall...!
3. Bowling.
4. Play drums in MYF this friday!
5. Meet Joyce!
6. Online! xD

That should be all for now...? I guess there are more, but I'm too lazy to think... xD

Through My Window - Shila

This song is sung by a Malaysian artist! Finally, Malaysia has an artist that is not bad! Haha...

SPM is in 8 days!

Another Version by BUNKFACE

Going temporary OFFLINE for the NEXT MONTH! T.T

TM NET Everyone Connects!

Countdown to SPM.

SPM is in 14 DAYS!

Kiss The Rain - Yiruma

Life As It Goes...

SPM... Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia, a.k.a. Malaysian Certificate of Education, an exam all students need to take when they are form 5.

In another 30 days +, I'll be facing an exam that will determine my path for the future. Any good advice?

La La Land - Demi Lovato

The Kill - 30 Seconds To Mars.

What would you do?

I know now, this is who I really am.

Doomsday Tomorrow!

Chinese Papers tomorrow. I'm going to dig my grave now and bury myself inside.

My Exam Results... ARE BACK!

I think I have to work harder on my Maths. I got back my exam results for Maths, Additional Mathematics and English today, among them are my 2 best subjects!

I got 98 for Mathematics! I'm am happy, but not happy enough. I was aiming for perfection for this paper, but I dropped a mark in Paper 1 and 2 marks in Paper 2, sadly. I guess, it means I need more practice, which means more time spent on Mathematics.

English was okay. I did pretty badly for my literature and summary though. I only got 11 marks for my summary, from my usual 13 or 14. I guess I made a few serious errors. And I lost quite some marks in my literature, if I'm not mistaken about 7 or 8 marks were lost there. I do not know about my essay though, because I have not seen my essay paper yet, but I know I got 71 out of 85, which brings my total mark for English to 84!

Additional Mathematics was a let down for me. I thought I could do better, but yet I didn't. I think I will need to spend some time on it. Additional Mathematics is one subject that you need loads of practice on. I only got 68 for it. Although it's still an A2, I'm not happy about it. Someone please teach me differentiation, I lost at least 12 marks there. And I heard it's one of the hardest topics in Mathematics in Form 6. I need to get my basics right!

School Again...

Ah... After a week filled with activities, it's back to school! I'm NOT looking forward to it. Going back to school means 2 things to me, Chinese Exam! & Exam Marks!

I do not even want to think of how badly I did this trials. I hope this serves me as a good lesson to correct myself and improve myself for SPM!

The papers I'm expecting to get back tomorrow:

1. Mathematics.
2. Additional Mathematics.
3. Physics.
4. Bahasa Malaysia.
5. Bahasa Inggeris.
   

Lets hope for the best. I know I didn't fail Mathematics or Additional Mathematics because the teacher said only one person failed Additional Mathematics, and I know who failed; and all passed Mathematics. Never mind, I'll know my results tomorrow. I hope it's not too disheartening.

Exam Woes...

This trials.

One word to describe it.

Dead.

A Thought to Think About...

I was thinking. What would life without taking the education route? Jobless? Homeless? Penniless?

Education distracts us, from the main purpose of life. When exams are near, we leave God aside. Our main goal during exams, do well, get into a good college, and your future is secured. Did you know that, you can just be gone the next second? If God decides to take your life now, you can't say no. You have no choice. Why can't we use this time to do something more meaningful? Perhaps have an impact on somebody's life. Wouldn't you lead a happier life?

I dread it, when I think what would be the next step after SPM. Form 6? College? I always ask myself, "Do you want to sit there and do the same thing for the rest for your life? We have only one chance to live on Earth. When it's judgment day with God, when God asks you, "What have you done on Earth that is pleasing to me?" Are you going to reply "I've scored straight A's in every school and public examination. I've have worked in the same company for the rest of my life after that."" The thought of this makes me ponder real hard. I'm waiting for God to pick for me. I don't care if the job makes me a poor man, what I want is a enriching and fulfilling life, and perhaps with a girl I love. But not a purposeless life, a life full of misery, full of loneliness. It's just not worth living for. I rather die today, rather than dying tomorrow. But sadly, the choice is not mine to make.

Is this what God wants us to do? To study? To work? And die? Surely there must be more than this? I'm not condoning education is bad. But surely, God did not create us, just to do well in exams, working in the same old job until you retire, and die after that? I'm sure many of you are like that. I think I am becoming like one too, but, I rather not walk down this path.

Why can't there be a change? But, the problem is, what change?

Sigh. Life is like the universe, there is still much to explore in life. Full of wonders, and mysteries. Full of questions that are yet to be asked. Full of answers yet to be answered. Life is worth living, when you know your goal in life. But it's ain't worth living, if you are just going to waste your life away.

Another Grave Dug. Focus.

It's one of the times, I feel so beaten. I thought I was prepared, but actually I'm not.

Today, I had accounts, Paper 2.

I had spent my whole day reading through my tuition notes yesterday, and was confident that I could answer any questions that were coming up today.

Unfortunately, that didn't happen.

I had trouble balancing the accounts of the first question. I spent an hour trying to make the accounts balanced. In the end, I realized that time was running out, and I spent the remaining time doing the other questions. I was panicking already! In the end, out of the 4 questions that needed to be balanced, I only managed to balance 1, and I'm not even sure whether it's correct.

Pathetic.

Trials has thought me a few harsh lessons, rather a wake up call to me. I know I'm going to fail 2 subjects, and this will affect me emotionally badly.

Throw away the distractions, especially facebook. It's time to focus!

You can do it, Daniel!